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My Outer World

January 16, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Spider Web

This is an old picture. I took it in my back yard on September 11, 2001, at 8:47 a.m. eastern time

[Note: During my coach training program, I embraced the teaching that “My Outer World is a Reflection of My Inner World.” Today I thought I’d share a glimpse of my outer world.]

Late to the cottage today, I’m greeted by sunshine splashing on a muddy floor. In the darkness of early winter mornings, I never notice the bits of dirt that so easily blend with the color of the cottage floor.

The sun has me on my knees . . . wet rag in hand, scrubbing the floor. My morning meditation becomes an appreciation for the many imperfections hidden by the shadows of winter.

But on this amazing sunny morning, the spider webs glisten in the shifting light, and I notice, too, the shells of dead bugs scattered beneath them, like so many empty candy wrappers carelessly discarded.

How is it that cleaning a floor can bring such joy here in the woods? In this moment, everything just feels so “right,” so “part of the natural flow.” Winter brings the spiders indoors, where we cohabit peacefully until spring. I have no urge to evict them now. And so, like the unnamed janitor, I dutifully clean up the remnants of snacks and wipe away the sagging, abandoned webs.

When spring arrives, I’ll clean in earnest. For now, I do a little, knowing that all the dust and dirt will disappear in the shadows of the many winter mornings yet to come.

[Now for the twist: Whatever you think you just learned about my inner world, isn’t about me at all … it’s about YOUR inner world. Enjoy the insights!]

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Letting My Soul Choose

January 12, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Handwritten "Acceptance"

A simple reminder

On January 1, I chose my year’s intention: Acceptance. It came to me during meditation and wasn’t what my ego had planned at all (I wanted appreciation!)

It’s no wonder my ego was squirming. When I set an intention, things tend to happen. And this past week I’ve felt like a high school freshman sitting in on a master’s level class. Oh, I have so much to learn!!

I immediately became keenly aware of my addiction to resistance. I want to be accepting. I say I want to be “in flow.” But what I see is myself consistently choosing to resist what is: “My internet service should not have been out for 4 days” … “Client emergencies should not clump together in a single week (particularly during a week without internet service!)” … “The dog should not be barking at 3 a.m.” … “I should be over this cough by now; two weeks is enough!”

Oh, I could go on, but I want to stop. Oh, how I want to stop!

Meditating Frog

My Guru

The next morning on my way to a doctor’s appointment, I observed myself thinking what bad timing it was during such a busy week. And then I asked myself, “What would it be like to be in acceptance?” I took a moment after I parked the car to center myself with a little deep breathing. I allowed myself to become totally present. Then I began my two block walk to the doctor’s office.

It was such an amazing experience. I felt like I was seeing my city for the first time. I connected with people on the street. And I heard birds singing! Birds singing in January when it was 33° outside!  It felt like a shot of pure joy. I was happy, excited, eager to share my smile with others. And the day continued to flow so much more easily.

This morning in the cottage I was reflecting on my soul’s choice for my 2013 intention. My soul knew what I needed most to get to a place of appreciation.

First Comes Acceptance!

It’s going to be an interesting year.

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Sick Happens

January 5, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Hand written: Read this when you are feeling sickI’ve been suffering from influenza. Totally missed celebrating New Year’s Eve. I’m much better, but still not 100%.

On the second day of my infirmity, I found the following letter dated December 19, 2010.

Dear Sick Barbie,

Today, as I write this, I’m feeling well again after three weeks of illness. It strikes me today just how little compassion and patience I have for myself and others when I am sick. I hate being sick. I hate the slow pace. I hate the exhaustion. I hate the lack of creativity. I go into survival mode. Nothing is fun. Nothing is satisfying. Most of the time I’m grouchy, nitpicky, and angry. I feel overwhelmed, and I don’t ask for help.

Right now, I want you to realize that getting well is not something you do in your spare time. It’s the most important thing. Stop exercising! Use your energy carefully! Cancel all of your extracurricular activities. Right now! Just do it! Sleep late. Take naps. Lounge in the tub. Read a book. Television makes you restless. It’s so unsatisfying. Keep it to a minimum. Download some good books and just listen if you need to be entertained.

Most important is this: ASK FOR HELP! Ask first in prayer. Ask your guides and angels to support you in taking care of yourself. Look at all your tasks and delegate. Don’t just let everything pile up until you feel better. Every day ask for what you need.

I don’t think this horrible cough needed to last three weeks. Maybe it did. I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that when I woke up this morning, I KNEW, without a doubt, that I was better. You will KNOW. Until then, practice faith, patience, self-love, compassion, and kindness … to yourself and all those around you.

Sincerely, A part of you that cares deeply and wants you to heal quickly

Thanks to my two-year-younger self for that great advice. I did as she directed and canceled everything on my calendar and stayed in bed for four days. I am continuing to go to bed early and sleep late. I’m so glad I wrote that letter!

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New Year’s Intention

December 27, 2012 by CoachBarbie

Sunrise Sky in the Florida Keys

The sky was this color for a mere 30 seconds. What a treat to capture it with my camera.

For over two decades (my notes start in 1988), I have shunned the traditional New Year’s Resolution in favor of a New Year’s Intention. Each year, I thoughtfully select a topic on which to focus my curiosity, interest, and attention for an entire year. 2012 has been the Year of Courage. When an opportunity arose to become certified as a “Courage Coach,” I signed up. This past year I found myself making brave decisions and discovering an inner courage I hadn’t realized was there.

My focus on courage led me to accept several speaking engagements, create and hold new boundaries, travel alone to my home town for a high school reunion, and most harrowing of all, take part in Karaoke Night at Unity of Kanawha Valley! Now THAT took courage! Best of all, I kept a “courage journal” this year with lots of evidence I can use to reassure myself when my knees get shaky and I want to fearfully retreat under the covers.

For 2013 I’ve considered many topics, but I keep coming back to “Appreciation,” which seems to imply something a bit deeper than gratitude (my 1998 focus). Webster says that “appreciation often connotes a sufficient understanding to enjoy or admire a thing’s excellence.” Appreciation involves “sensitive awareness and recognition of value.” Synonyms for appreciate include “treasure,” “cherish,” and “value.” There is also the idea of “increased value,” which reminds me of one of my favorite Wayne Dyer quotes: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

What would change in my life if I were to APPRECIATE the ordinary details? Could the mundane minutiae I take for granted be transformed and cherished? I think there’s possibility here. Even as I think about the concept of “sensitive awareness,” I feel a bubble of eager anticipation rising in my heart, something between planning for a vacation at the beach and opening an elegantly wrapped gift. It feels special, heart warming, and life affirming.

I hope you’ll join me in choosing your own New Year’s Intention. I know several who have already set an intention to make 2013 The Best Year of Their Lives. If that sounds good to you, send an email to bestyear4u@hotmail.com and ask to be added to the mailing list. My appreciation to Alan Yoke for taking this on. Alan, I understand your deep level of commitment, and I acknowledge the work you’ve put into creating this support system. I promise to drop in regularly on teleconference group meetings to lend my support.

Happy New Year!

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