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A New Year … A New Intention

December 31, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

In the fall of 2000, I delivered a 90-minute presentation on the topic of Power Talking at the national convention of Professional Résumé Writers in Las Vegas. I flew out several days early to indulge myself with a side trip of hiking in Zion and Bryce Canyon National Parks and horseback riding to the floor of the canyon. Looking back, I marvel at my adventurous spirit. I’m shocked sometimes at the realization: not only did I do it; I did it alone! It was all part of an ambitious plan birthed from my 1989 New Year’s intention to live my life “feeling the fear and doing it anyway.”  (See my 1989 Guidebook: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers).

I was in a reflective mood while hiking a remote trail in Bryce Canyon. Nature does that to me. It opens my mind to the big questions. You know the ones: “Why am I here?” … “Does God exist?” …  “What is the meaning of life?” … “Does anything I do really matter?”

As sometimes happens when hiking alone, I began asking my questions aloud, pleading with The Universe to give me just one solid answer. Is that too much to ask? Really? Just one, incontrovertible straightforward answer. I mean, this is The Universe … all powerful … all knowing … all present. Hello?? Anybody there?

In desperation, I yelled out, “I want an answer … and I want it now!”

Just then there was a sharp turn in the trail and I nearly smacked into a signpost, whose words took my breath away. “STAY ALERT” the bright yellow letters instructed … “READ THE SIGNS.”

Whoa! The message pierced through to my heart. Isn’t it just like The Universe to deliver what we need to know instead of what we demand to know?

This morning at the cottage I found myself asking “What do I need to focus on in 2014? What intention should I pick for the new year?” Silence. And then the impatient shout, “Just tell me! I want to know!”

Then–just like that–I remembered “the sign” that was so meaningful to me 13 years ago. I also remembered the intriguing allure of “omens” in a book I’m currently reading, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. As these rather vague but appealing thoughts were bouncing around my head, I think I actually encountered an omen, but I’m not sure since I don’t really know what an omen looks like. But it felt the way I imagine it feels to see an omen. Silently awed, in the moment, grateful without words for the download of wisdom. Wow!

Happy New Year … Happy New Focus … What do you intend to create in 2014?

As for me, my intention for the next 365 days is to stay alert and read the signs.

Sign from Bryce Canyon

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The Gift Card Dilemma

December 23, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Gift Card

I’ve heard a lot of people comment that gift cards are “just so impersonal”! Last week I received one from the fourth grade class where I’m a ReadAloud volunteer on Thursday mornings.

It reminds me of when my grandma would slip five dollars into my birthday card. Mom urged me to buy “something special,” something that Grandma herself might buy if she lived closer. After the purchase, I wrote a thank-you note. (Remember those?) I not only said thank you, but I told Grandma specifically how I spent the money as well as the pleasure I received from my gift.

The first year I received a check for Christmas from my dad, I was a little disappointed. He had always been a thoughtful gift giver, and I enjoyed the presents he chose. As he slowed with age, though, it was easier for him to just send a check. He slipped in a note telling me to buy myself something special. So, I began a tradition of carefully choosing a gift I could imagine him buying. That year, I picked out a beautiful pair of gold earrings, and I placed the wrapped present under the tree with a tag that read, “To: Barb … From: Dad.”

On Christmas Eve, I “forgot” what the box contained and opened it with great anticipation. A few days later I sent a thank you note: “Dear Dad, I adore the beautiful gold hoop earrings you sent! I have been wearing them every day since I opened the gift. Thank you so much. I Love You! Barb.”

After his initial confusion over that first thank-you note, Dad came to look forward to finding out what he bought me for Christmas via the thank you notes. And, even now, more than 20 years later, when someone admires those earrings, I say, “Thank you. They were a Christmas gift from my dad.”

Yesterday I used the gift card from the students to buy two books. The thank-you note says, “Thank you so much for the Christmas gift card. Because I enjoy reading to you so much, I used it to buy two books for myself. One is a travel guide to the Big Island of Hawaii. I’m going there this summer, and I want to get the most from my trip by reading about it before I go. The second book is a journal I’m using to write all my ideas about–and wishes for–the trip. Please know I’ll be thinking of you all when I celebrate my 60th Birthday bicycling through Volcanoes National Park on August 14! Books help big dreams come true!! Thanks again for your magical gift. Keep Dreaming! Keep Reading! Love, Ms. Dallmann”

On the inside flap of the books, I have written: “Merry Christmas 2013 from Mrs. Burdette’s Fourth Grade Class at Overbrook Elementary.”

Impersonal? I think not!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas 2013

Making Memories

WP_20131221_005

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My Mission Trip to Woodridge

November 24, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Today I’m heading home after a week-long cultural exchange experience. My muscles are sore, and I’m tired. But it’s a good tired, the kind one feels after finishing a long race in record time.

You may know that I have a very small family, no siblings, no parents, no aunts or uncles. I have a husband, a son, and a cousin, but not just any cousin. Kate is a sister-cousin, a “twin cousin.” We are 14 months apart in age and have never had fewer than 450 miles separating our homes, but our spirits have always intertwined such that intervals of time and space do not exist for us. We have always been together.

When her oldest daughter announced her engagement, I made plans to attend the wedding. Before long an idea emerged, an opportunity to immerse myself in a foreign culture. I volunteered for the Bridal Mission Trip. I would become one of the family for the five days leading up to the big event. And when I say big, I mean BIG … eight bride’s maids and a maid of honor … eight groomsmen and two best men … five flower girls … three ring security boys … and let’s not forget the bride and groom!

Since wishes were lofty and budgets limited, Can-Do Kate wore (and generously shared with me) many hats: Wedding Planner, Florist, Rehearsal Dinner Caterer, Reception Party Decorator (which included borrowing, laundering, and ironing linens for 18  huge tables). The morning of the wedding, still in our pajamas, Kate and I assembled 10 beautiful bouquets with white roses, poms, greenery, and tiny purple and blue orchid blossoms. I wired at least 70 of those delicate flowers, a skill I learned via You Tube video a mere ten minutes into my morning coffee.

flowers

Some of the Bouquets

The week was full of so many women working long days together to make it all happen. Kate’s home was Wedding Central, with every horizontal surface piled high with vases, flowers, ribbons, photos, tulle, wires, scissors, pens, paints, pliers, knives, candles, and shoes … so many shoes! I cooked and cleaned and did dishes, mountains of dishes. I designed and created the wedding programs while busily preparing a rehearsal dinner for 40. The rest of the details are a blur.

The take-aways, though, are crystal clear. I learned what Instagram is, installed it and posted my first photo. I learned about spray tans, eyelash extensions, and bustling a wedding dress train. I learned about submersible electric candles, floating candles, and acrylic paint pens that write on wine glasses. And I learned about the joys of service, offering my skills, energy, and love to make the dreams of some very special people come true. For an entire week, I was part of a female contingency that demonstrated unconditional love at a grassroots level. This past week, I felt the presence of Divine Spirit, Divine Love, and Divine Connection. Now I know the true meaning of the phrase, “God is in the Details.”

I am overflowing with gratitude for this unique, family-centered opportunity and my heart is singing with joy from the experience.

Bride

Beautiful Bride Robyn

table

Table Decorations

Dance

Congratulations and Best Wishes to Jimmy & Robyn Cnota

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In Anticipation of Thanksgiving

November 7, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Traditional Thanksgiving Picture

The Idea of Thanksgiving Appeals to Me

I love the idea of Thanksgiving.

In the abstract, it feels all warm and loving, full of togetherness, joy, and gratitude. Thanksgiving in America these days, however, requires excavation with heavy equipment to unearth those essential elements.

How many references to Black Friday must I chop my way through to find a single relic of heartfelt gratitude? I find it nearly impossible to embrace a deep sense of contentment for my many blessings while simultaneously making plans to buy, Buy, BUY … more, More, MORE! From all indications, Black Friday has become the holiday, and Thanksgiving is merely the feeding frenzy before “the biggest shopping event of a lifetime, you won’t want to miss!”

I love a bargain as much as the next guy (possibly more!), but this year I’m feeling a bit nauseated at the mere thought of the holiday season. There is nothing about Black Friday that appeals to me … not the excitement of getting up at 3 a.m. … not the opportunity to compete for one of a “limited number available” … not even the adrenaline rush of getting the lowest price imaginable on something I can’t live without. Oh, okay. I’ll admit that last one does appeal to me a little. But I don’t want to pay the spiritual price for that kind of bargain.

So this year, instead of just complaining, I’m going to take self-loving action. I hereby give myself permission to make Thanksgiving 2013 a two-day affair. So, since Black Friday will fall on a “sacred holiday” this year, I will turn a blind eye to it. I will delete every email, skip over every print reference. I will not be shopping online or in the stores that day.

Instead, I will fill the day with activities that honor my family, my home, and my values. I might paint, listen to music, or write. One thing for certain, I’ll be sleeping in and smiling my way through the day.

It will be a REAL holiday … the kind where you get the freedom to do whatever you feel like. Do you know that feeling? It’s the one I got when I was six years old and school was cancelled because there was two feet of snow on the ground. The whole day was suddenly filled with endless opportunities for fun: sledding, snow ball fights, building snowmen and snow forts, and drinking hot chocolate. It was self-indulgence at its best. It was as if every bit of the routine had been swept away to make time for UNBRIDLED PLAY. I want some of THAT.

So this year, when I see the words Black Friday, I’ll assume a conspiratorial smile as I envision the words buried in a snowdrift. No matter what the weather is this year, for me November 29, 2013, is gonna be a SNOW DAY!

Sledding

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