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Posts Tagged ‘choices’

We just got back from walking our legs off in Washington, DC, and I find myself longing for just one quiet, relaxing day by the ocean. Alas, I’m back to work with no beach trip in sight, so, instead of posting pictures from our nation’s capital, I’m going to share a few of my most treasured beach souvenirs.

Pickle jar filled with ocean water and sand

I was 22 when I saw the ocean for the first time. I was so excited that I promptly filled a pickle jar with water and sand as a souvenir. The jar now sits on a shelf in my laundry room next to a jar of water from Lake Michigan, circa 1967, and another from Lake Erie, circa 1977. It’s the strangest, smallest collection I own.

Glass jar filled with seashells, coral, and black sand

We went to Hawaii in 1993. I was awestruck by a black sand beach on Maui. I scooped up the sand and put it in a glass ball along with a piece of coral and a few shells. I love the way the black sand looks like dirt!

Beach shells holding paper clips

I found this shell on a beach in South Carolina. It has served as a paperclip holder for about 20 years.

Large white seashell

In 1990, as I left for a business trip to Florida, my five-year-old son asked me to bring him back a “big shell.” When I talked to him on the phone that evening, he asked if I had found the shell. I said, “No, I just got here, and I haven’t had time to go to the store.” He said, “Not the store! You just walk out by the ocean and pick it up!” I tried to explain that “big shells” are not that easy to come by, but he insisted. “Mama, you get up early tomorrow morning and go out on the beach. You’ll find a big shell. Bring it to me.” I said I would look. I got up early the next morning never thinking for a moment that I would be successful. But there it was, just as he said, waiting for me to pick it up. It’s the biggest, prettiest shell I’ve ever found on a beach. I wonder how he knew it would be there.

Bleached Sun Dollar

In 1989 I was in Florida and obsessed with the idea of finding a sand dollar. A local told me to dig with my toes around the sand bar, and sure enough, I found one. I was so excited until I realized it was alive! I hesitated for only a moment. I didn’t care. I had found my trophy, and I took it to my hotel room. The next morning, I was overcome with guilt. I had killed a beautiful creature just so I could display it. What kind of person does a thing like that? I cried and seriously considered throwing it away because I was so ashamed of myself for killing it. But then I thought doing so would be doubly shameful. So I brought it home, bleached it, and gave it a place of honor in my office. It’s still there, and when I look at it, I sometimes still feel a little ashamed and a little sad. It is the one and only “trophy kill” I own.

Photo of girl at beach displayed in a beach chair frame

Finally, here is a picture I took at Hilton Head Island in 2003. I found the beach chair frame in a souvenir shop, and I thought it was the perfect frame for the perfect picture. It makes me laugh to look at it, though, because it looks like the picture just came with the frame!

There … wasn’t that more fun than the Washington Monument?

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Wide-angle shot of Bryce Canyon at Sunrise

Bryce Canyon at Sunrise – One of the many shots in vacation slide show I’m using for motivation

In just three and a half days my favorite “Twin Cousin” is coming to visit! Yea! The two of us and our husbands are going to take Amtrak to Washington, DC, and do the tourist thing. The train trip will take us through the Appalachian Mountains where we’re sure to see some beautiful fall colors. I adore anticipating a trip.

But for the next three days, I will be swamped with work. I worked 13 hours yesterday (bookkeeping, payroll, budgets, and desktop publishing), and there’s more of the same today … and tomorrow … and the next day. It happens every time I go away.

This morning I took a break at the cottage, and I asked myself, “What gives? What is this CRAZY BUSY thing you do before trips?”

As I wrote in my journal, the answer revealed itself: “Present-day me” is in the process of gifting “after-trip me” with a clean desk and completed chores when she returns to the office. My gift to her is easing the re-entry process. She will be relaxed, happy, and reveling in the afterglow of a lovely vacation. She will be smiling at the memory of hours of leisure time and the many adventures she had with those she loves the most. She won’t feel like working her ass off … not for a few days, at least.

And so, with the excitement and anticipation of that trip fueling me, I am happy to work my ass off NOW. I put a slide show on my second computer screen of scenes from a trip I took to Bryce Canyon. They are reminding me that the wonder of travel is always worth the effort, always worth the money, always worth this final push to get out the door.

This crazy busy thing … it’s just a way of taking care of my fragile, returning-from-vacation self. She will feel a little let down that it’s all over. She’ll be wondering how the time could go so fast. And she’ll be moving at a slower pace. So, my precious future self, I’m doing this for you.

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Clearance

What a Deal!

I love the Annual Loading Dock Clearance Sale at Wells Furniture. I can ALWAYS find a bargain there. This year I told my husband I wasn’t going. After all, there was nothing more I needed. It would be a waste of time.

But then I found myself driving right by Wells on the way to the grocery store. The sale had only been going for 15 minutes. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to stop and take a peek. And I wouldn’t want to miss entering the “$12,000 in prizes” giveaway, right? (I won a $250 gift certificate one year!)

When I saw this tag on a sweet little end table, my heart skipped a beat. What a Deal! I had to have it. Were they kidding? It was originally $498? Who would pay $498 for THAT? Obviously no one. But they found this bargain hunter’s price: $38. MINE!

The Table

What does it match?!?

I quickly grabbed a salesman and staked my claim. I could tell he didn’t like the table because the nicest thing he could find to say about it was, “Hey, that’s cheaper than a shipping crate at UPS!” Hmmm. I wondered what my husband would have to say about it.

New Design

A Table Frame

I texted him quickly and assured him that if he didn’t like it, I would not put it in the living room. I suppose you can guess from the picture that it didn’t match anything in the living room. Or anything in any other room of our house. Or anything I would ever consider owning (that wasn’t on sale, that is). BUT . . . it was such a GREAT DEAL!

Desperate for a happy ending, I allowed my imagination to begin working. The table is topped with glass. Surely I could find something more appealing than THAT pattern to gaze at. What about one of my pieces of art? Hey, that will work! I ran out and bought some colored poster board, cut it to size, then slipped it and the picture under the glass.

New Table

Look! Dual-Purpose Furniture

Voilà! An addition to the living room that meets the family’s approval. And it’s especially nice to have a multi-function frame for my art. I’m all about bargains AND multi-tasking. When I get tired of this piece, there’s plenty more. (I also bought poster board in blue, yellow, and green and cut them to size. They are conveniently stored under the glass.) I love a happy ending, don’t you?

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From the viewpoint of an objective observer, I noticed some interesting things while reading my five-year diary (see “The Reunion, part 2″).

The first entry appeared on January 1, 1968, and continued until I graduated from high school in May 1972. I stopped on that day because I saw my diary as something from “my youth” that I no longer needed.

As I read entry after entry, I thought, “What kind of person writes every single day and fills every single line, beginning at age of 13? Disciplined? Focused? Organized? Intentional?” (Sounds a lot like me!)

By the time I accepted my high school diploma, I had already completed a semester of college and had worked for five months as a secretary at the Lincoln Fire Department. I was 17 years old.

There is simply no evidence for the labels I placed on myself: Unsure, Awkward, and Afraid. The person who wrote in that book was full of determination and vision. She boldly asked to graduate mid-term from high school, and then took a senior level college class, assuring her adviser that she didn’t need the prerequisites. She was right. She earned straight A’s that first semester in college.

Yes, she was a misfit in high school. She couldn’t wait to get on with her life. She didn’t like sporting events, pep rallies, dances or parties. All of that seemed so frivolous and unnecessary, a waste of time. She would rather debate philosophical topics with her teachers than hang out with kids her own age.

The more I read the diary, the more I liked the girl who wrote it. I found her delightfully energetic and hopeful. I smiled at her idealistic dreams and envied her self-assurance. Everything was so black-and-white for her. Little did she know the territory in between, the place I now so contentedly live my life.

As I placed the book aside, I realized how I had blamed my teenage self for all of my perceived shortcomings. She’s the reason I felt uncomfortable in crowds, had no fashion sense, and couldn’t dance.

Eureka! There are the red flags I was looking for! Blame and resentment! I love it when I see them clearly because I know what I need to do. I need to take responsibility. Period.

As a responsible, self-generating person, I acknowledge right here and now that if I wanted to learn to dance, I could. If I really cared about fashion, I have plenty of trendy friends who could teach me a thing or two. And as for crowds? I don’t mind one bit being the featured speaker at a conference, but when it comes to conversations, I’ll take a meaningful philosophical debate any day.

Thank you, Barbara Jane, you were the perfect teenager to lead me to who I am today. I honor your hard work, quirky ways, and serious outlook. Tomorrow night I’m headed to my 40th high school reunion with the memory of you tucked safely in my heart. You rock!

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