Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘life coaching’

B&D Photo

Barbie & Dannie – Taken at Shell-Fish’s Wedding in 2012

Today is our 32nd wedding anniversary. Very romantic, getting married on Valentine’s Day, right? Would you like to hear the proposal?

Barbie: “If we really want to buy this house, we’ll have a lot better chance of getting a mortgage approved if we’re married.”

Dannie: “You’re right. So, do you want to get married next Saturday? We could just run down to Virginia and do it all in the same day.”

Barbie: “Okay. That works. Then we can apply for the loan on Monday.”

It wasn’t until a day later that we realized “next Saturday” was Valentine’s Day.

Here are some other things you may not know about us:

1. When we met in February of 1977, we didn’t like each other at all. He was one of my bosses at the Nebraska Public Service Commission. Behind each others backs, I called him “Mr. Military” and he tried to get me fired.

2. By August that same year, everything had changed. We embarked on our first road trip, from Nebraska to the East Coast. Even after 60+ hours of driving, we never ran out of things to talk about. And we still haven’t.

Dannie 1977

From our 1977 Road Trip. This is Dannie at the Air and Space Museum standing beside an original Norman Rockwell painting.

3. We make up jokes about everything. Maybe it’s shared punch lines that keep us together. (“You never count your checkers while you’re sittin’ on the litter … there’ll be time enough for countin’ when the poopin’s done.” Five points if you can name that song!) We have thousands of insider jokes. I just love that about us.

4. When we lived together in Lincoln, we walked to work (just over a mile), and we still regularly love taking long walks together year round.

5. We’ve always had clearly defined chores. Currently he makes the bed, does the laundry, and takes out the garbage. I cook, manage the finances, and clean (with the twice-a-month assistance of Connie).

6. When Britain was young, we took turns every other day in the primary care giver/helper roles. We called it “Being on the Hook.” As a toddler, when Britain needed something, his first question was always, “You on hook, Ma?”

7. Behind the wheel, he is the one who drives too slowly. I have a lead foot.

8. He snores (sometimes), and so do I (sometimes).

9. When I worked for Columbia Gas, Dannie packed my lunch every day for four years and always included a love note.

10. We do our grocery shopping together, and he always complains about how long it takes me to read the labels.

11. Most TV watching we do together. Over the years our favorite shows have included MASH, 30 Something, LA Law, Friends, Mad About You, Desperate Housewives, Modern Family, and Parenthood.

12. He took all the fun out of Nebraska Football by insisting that it was NOT “just a game.” This is one of two topics we have agreed to NEVER discuss again.

Happy Anniversary, Dannie! Way back when, everyone said it wouldn’t work … hasn’t it been fun proving them wrong?!?

Read Full Post »

A strand of 24 beads

“Breath Beads” – Made for me by my friend Amy Williams

My friend Amy gave me these beads when we had breakfast together a couple of days ago. She didn’t call them “prayer beads”; she mentioned using them for deep breathing and centering. So, I’m calling them “Breath Beads.” I counted them. There are 24 on the strand, not including the face bead, which doesn’t have a mouth . . . to remind me to stay silent once in a while (I made up that last bit, but it sounds good, doesn’t it?).

This morning I decided to observe the process of using the beads. I thought I might slip into a nice meditative state. Instead, I noticed my typical pattern with anything new. I immediately slipped into a nice analytical state.

I hadn’t finished my first, supposed-to-be cleansing breath when my mind hijacked the experience. “What’s the point of all this?” it demanded. Then it launched quickly into calculations: “Hmmm . . . 24 beads . . . an average of 5 seconds per breath . . . this is going to take about two minutes . . . maybe more, though, since I seem to be breathing a little more slowly than usual.”

Satisfied with the timing, it next began to notice the difference in the shapes of the beads. “This one seems too big and bulky for a peaceful process . . . this one is tiny. It could easily be missed, and that would throw off the timing. If I finish in under two minutes, I’ll know I missed one of these tiny beads. Oh, wait, I like this one; it’s got more texture than the others.” My eyes were closed, so color wasn’t part of this particular analysis. My mind did, however, begin searching for a pattern, and finding none, it went straight to judgment: “A pattern would be better . . . then I would know how far along I was . . . I would know which bead was coming next. If it were more like a rosary, I think I would like it better. It would be more predictable.”

After two minutes of this, I completed my first Breath Bead Experience. And now my mind feels satisfied that it sort of knows what to expect next time. Maybe it will settle down and let me notice more than a single breath when I try it again tomorrow morning.

Silly me to expect the first time to be anything but a Left Brained Bonanza. Oh, how well I know that little scientific mathematician inside me who is ever busy making sense of the world around her. Analyze to your heart’s content, my dear. Trust me, though, when I tell you there is joy in not knowing, in simply resting in the perfection of experiences that can be neither measured nor controlled.

I know . . . I know. It makes no sense! But that’s the point. It’s not supposed to. Hey, I have an idea. What if you observe me tomorrow while I breathe, and you can analyze it all you want after the two minutes have passed. Shall we give it try?

Read Full Post »

Handwritten "Acceptance"

A simple reminder

On January 1, I chose my year’s intention: Acceptance. It came to me during meditation and wasn’t what my ego had planned at all (I wanted appreciation!)

It’s no wonder my ego was squirming. When I set an intention, things tend to happen. And this past week I’ve felt like a high school freshman sitting in on a master’s level class. Oh, I have so much to learn!!

I immediately became keenly aware of my addiction to resistance. I want to be accepting. I say I want to be “in flow.” But what I see is myself consistently choosing to resist what is: “My internet service should not have been out for 4 days” … “Client emergencies should not clump together in a single week (particularly during a week without internet service!)” … “The dog should not be barking at 3 a.m.” … “I should be over this cough by now; two weeks is enough!”

Oh, I could go on, but I want to stop. Oh, how I want to stop!

Meditating Frog

My Guru

The next morning on my way to a doctor’s appointment, I observed myself thinking what bad timing it was during such a busy week. And then I asked myself, “What would it be like to be in acceptance?” I took a moment after I parked the car to center myself with a little deep breathing. I allowed myself to become totally present. Then I began my two block walk to the doctor’s office.

It was such an amazing experience. I felt like I was seeing my city for the first time. I connected with people on the street. And I heard birds singing! Birds singing in January when it was 33° outside!  It felt like a shot of pure joy. I was happy, excited, eager to share my smile with others. And the day continued to flow so much more easily.

This morning in the cottage I was reflecting on my soul’s choice for my 2013 intention. My soul knew what I needed most to get to a place of appreciation.

First Comes Acceptance!

It’s going to be an interesting year.

Read Full Post »

Hand written: Read this when you are feeling sickI’ve been suffering from influenza. Totally missed celebrating New Year’s Eve. I’m much better, but still not 100%.

On the second day of my infirmity, I found the following letter dated December 19, 2010.

Dear Sick Barbie,

Today, as I write this, I’m feeling well again after three weeks of illness. It strikes me today just how little compassion and patience I have for myself and others when I am sick. I hate being sick. I hate the slow pace. I hate the exhaustion. I hate the lack of creativity. I go into survival mode. Nothing is fun. Nothing is satisfying. Most of the time I’m grouchy, nitpicky, and angry. I feel overwhelmed, and I don’t ask for help.

Right now, I want you to realize that getting well is not something you do in your spare time. It’s the most important thing. Stop exercising! Use your energy carefully! Cancel all of your extracurricular activities. Right now! Just do it! Sleep late. Take naps. Lounge in the tub. Read a book. Television makes you restless. It’s so unsatisfying. Keep it to a minimum. Download some good books and just listen if you need to be entertained.

Most important is this: ASK FOR HELP! Ask first in prayer. Ask your guides and angels to support you in taking care of yourself. Look at all your tasks and delegate. Don’t just let everything pile up until you feel better. Every day ask for what you need.

I don’t think this horrible cough needed to last three weeks. Maybe it did. I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that when I woke up this morning, I KNEW, without a doubt, that I was better. You will KNOW. Until then, practice faith, patience, self-love, compassion, and kindness … to yourself and all those around you.

Sincerely, A part of you that cares deeply and wants you to heal quickly

Thanks to my two-year-younger self for that great advice. I did as she directed and canceled everything on my calendar and stayed in bed for four days. I am continuing to go to bed early and sleep late. I’m so glad I wrote that letter!

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »