Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘life coaching’

Getting Inspired

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on September 23, 2010| 2 Comments »

Creating Life

Life is About Creating Yourself

When I started blogging, I promised myself that it wouldn’t end up being another “have to” on my list of chores. I would only blog when I felt “inspired to do so.”
But I haven’t been inspired lately.
And then this morning in the shower, there it was! Inspiration! Pouring in  faster than I could register it all. I was getting ideas for writing, workshops, marketing, exercise routines, home decorating, and creative cooking! I was only in there for ten minutes. What happened?
Could it have something to do with the fact that this morning, I stepped out of my routine? It wasn’t a leap, mind you. I just rearranged things a little. I had breakfast before meditating. I exercised and then prayed. There were just a few small, mindful changes that resulted from an exploration of the role of structure in my life.
So many people resist structure. It’s a common trait among my life coaching clients: many don’t want to commit to goals and deadlines. Many don’t want to embrace discipline and accountability. And yet, without structures, important things are often postponed until the last possible moment, or worse, they don’t get done at all. I gladly embrace structure in my life as an incredibly useful tool that helps me get where I want to go, sort of like a bridge, reliably supporting me as I move from an outdated way of being over to a more productive one.
There are, however, restrictive structures, which are like jail cells. They keep us stuck in our thoughts and routines and quite often dull our creativity. Upon self-reflection, I realized that I had become like a robot in the mornings, doing exactly the same things in exactly the same order, morning after morning. I realized today that I had lost my sense of self in the process. My unchanging routine had caused a certain dullness to descend upon me. I’ve been on autopilot, simply following pre-determined steps, not even taking time to consider that I might prefer tea to coffee some mornings.
And so, at 5:30 this morning, I made a conscious decision to shake things up a bit, and look what happened! I’m inspired!
Over the next week, I plan to take a closer look at the structures, routines, and rules that govern my day-to-day life. I guarantee I’ll be making some changes. The real challenge for me is to not allow the changes to become new jail cells. And the only way to do that is to commit to living consciously as a full-time participant in my own life.
Now the coach in me is saying: “What structure can you put in place to make sure you remember that commitment?” (And you thought being a Life Coach was easy!)

Read Full Post »

Pathway to Peace

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , on August 20, 2010| 5 Comments »

Cottage Path

Pathway to Peace

Going to the cottage has become part of my morning ritual. My soul has come to rely on it in much the same way as my body revels in morning coffee. Thus, sitting in my cottage rocking chair while watching the sun rise and sipping a hot cup of coffee has become this summer’s version of heaven on earth.

This morning it occurred to me that a mere two years ago the cottage didn’t exist. In fact, two years ago, the only thing that did exist was the land and my growing desire for “a bench or something” where I could sit outdoors and meditate.

As I allowed my desire to grow, the “bench” grew first into a glider, then into a gazebo, then into a “shed,” and finally into a fully-insulated, all-weather structure with a sleeping loft and its own electrical service. Oh, and let’s not forget the 100-yard path of stepping stones that keep my feet dry as I pick my way through the woods on dew-soaked mornings. Wow! That’s some meditation bench!

The manifestation of this cottage feels like a miracle on many levels. It’s something I dreamed up, planned, and paid for myself. It was built by me, my family, and friends. I hired no one to help. It’s truly a labor of love. On an outward level, I learned to use power tools, pound nails, install siding and decking, shingle a roof, hang drywall, and much more. On an inner level I learned how to admit my shortcomings, ask for help, allow others to be in charge, and accept without guilt the amazing outpouring of love from so many of my friends and family.

The lessons I learned along the way were both painful at times and funny at others; they were usually at least somewhat interesting. For example, Lesson #12: It takes 3 times longer to remove the wrong caulking than it does to put it up in the first place. (It took a while for that one to seem funny.)

The manifestation of my cottage from desire to reality has been a spiritual journey for me. I mention it now because it will no doubt appear in or be the topic of future blogs. I mention it, too, so you’ll know where I am as the sun’s coming up.

Read Full Post »

The Power of Hidden Beliefs

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on July 18, 2010| 1 Comment »

My name is Barbie…and I am a recovering workaholic. Over the years, I’ve found myself working relentlessly through migraine headaches, stomach ulcers, and morning sickness that lasted well into the afternoons. Once, I returned to a transcription job the day after I had surgery to place two rods in a severely broken finger. I was typing with one good hand plus two fingers on my “bad hand,” quite proud of the fact that I could still type about 70 words a minute. Crazy!

We all have behaviors that don’t seem to make sense. But when we take time to step back and observe ourselves with genuine curiosity, we can oftentimes find the faulty wiring that causes this kind of short circuited behavior.

When I was very young and feeling sick, Mom would pop a thermometer into my mouth to see if I had a fever. If I didn’t, then I couldn’t stay home from school. It was just that simple.

I carried that marginally useful measuring stick into adulthood where it became part of my unconscious belief system that sounded something like this: If I don’t have a fever, I’m not really sick. And if I’m not really sick, then I need to go to work (or otherwise tend fully to my commitments and responsibilities).

There is, of course, a major problem with that particular belief: not all “sickness” is accompanied by fever. The debilitation caused by headaches, pregnancy, and even broken bones can’t be measured with a thermometer. I can see that now, and I’m also beginning to see many other places where my faulty thinking has caused irrational behavior.

I noticed it yesterday when I went out for a run. A week ago I strained my Achilles tendon, and so I rested it for a week and then resumed my usual running pace. There were a few twinges at first, but I ran through them. A couple of miles in, I couldn’t take the pain any more, so I limped home while listening to brain chatter: “It should be healed by now. I took the week off. It should be all right. What’s wrong?”

There’s that “should” word, a definite red flag that something’s going on under the surface. So I simply observed and eventually noticed my belief in the “fact,” that all injuries and illnesses clear up on their own in about a week.  I don’t know where that came from, but it is clearly not serving me nor my unhealed Achilles tendon. With awareness comes the freedom to make new choices.

So, as I move into the days and weeks ahead, I want to pay closer attention to the unconscious beliefs that operate quietly in the background of my life. Some are useful; some are not.

Living consciously is all about exploration, discovery, and choices. It’s only when we find the short circuits that we can consciously choose to begin rewiring our belief system to something useful and supportive. When that happens, our lights shine more and more brightly, and the whole world reaps the benefits of lives lived consciously.

Read Full Post »

BP should pay, right?

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on June 19, 2010| 2 Comments »

I held a grudge against Exxon for over a decade because of the way they handled the Valdez incident. I wouldn’t buy gasoline at an Exxon station, and I wouldn’t invest in any mutual fund that held Exxon stock. I can hold a grudge (i.e., a righteous indignation) for a long, LONG time. You might think I was angry about the environmental damage, but that wasn’t it. I was angry because Exxon’s first reaction was, “It’s not our responsibility.” Yes, it was their tanker; yes, it was their oil; yes, it was their employee at the helm; but, no, it was not their responsibility that the oil ended up in the ocean. That was the captain’s fault. They shouldn’t be expected to clean up what he spilled.

I didn’t see it that way. I still don’t. I did, however, over the past few years, use the incident and my strong emotional reaction to it to explore my own inner world and to get a better glimpse at some of my own dark shadows. I asked myself, “Where am I not taking responsibility? … Where am I blaming someone else?” I thought I had done a pretty good job of sorting through all of that until now.

Now there’s British Petroleum, and the shadows are back. I was pleased when I heard the company spokesman say, “We take full responsibility.” I thought, “Good for you!”

And then I remembered that I own BP stock. Instantly, I wanted to dump the stock. I didn’t want to suffer financially for something “they” did. After all, “it’s not my fault”!

“You sound just like Exxon,” said a small, quiet voice inside. “You are part owner of the company; what makes you  think you’re not responsible?”

My inner wisdom tells it like it is; it can ask some pretty tough questions. It  takes my own self-righteous indignation and holds it up as a mirror. There I am, squirming and wiggling and trying to find a way out. Just like Exxon.

Oh, I could find a multitude of justifications and rationales for selling my stock. But the real bottom line for me is this: I invested in BP because I thought it was a responsible company. And now, as they are taking responsibility, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to have anything to do with them. What a hypocrite!

So, I have made a decision. I’m holding onto my stock, and I’m going to do my share. As part owner of BP (no matter how infinitesimally small that part may be), I, too, will hang my head in shame and regret. I, too, will say, “I’m sorry.” I want my company to do whatever it can to make it right, even if I lose every cent of my investment. My integrity calls for me to put my money where my mouth is. It’s time to hold myself to the same standards I want the rest of the world to live up to.

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »