Coach Barbie Dallmann

The other day I was unloading groceries from my van and dropped a quart of fresh strawberries onto the garage floor. I wasted no time picking them up and heading to the kitchen. As I climbed the stairs, it occurred to me just how undramatic the incident had been. No words were mumbled under my breath, no cursing, not even a minced oath (egad!) It was with efficient, fluid motion that I simply retrieved the berries and continued with my day. The thought brings a smile to my face because, for me, this is a reliable indicator of personal progress.

I’m reminded of Wayne Dyer’s question: “When you squeeze an orange, what comes out?” Answer: “Orange juice … because that’s what’s inside.” And when I “get squeezed”–when I am under pressure–what comes out? Anger? Frustration? Sadness? Surrender? If I want to know “what’s inside” on any given day, I can observe my reactions to the small pressures: a dropped spoon, my misplaced car keys, the inevitable computer glitch. When those things happen, what comes out?

When I’m over committed and stressed, I may react with impatience or anger. I may direct it inward (poor me!) or outward (poor husband!). It’s shamefully true, I can be very mean to myself and others when I’m stressed.

Lately, though, I’ve been starting my days with purposeful solitude. I’ve been setting an intention for a day of flow, which requires from me a higher level of compassion, acceptance, and vigilance. Slowly I’m learning which choices move me in the direction I want to go and which ones drive me off course. There are many opportunities throughout my days to get a glimpse of what’s inside. That’s why I’m smiling now as I remember the spilled berries. I do have some peace and acceptance inside, and it’s affirming to see it emerging more often.