Yesterday was an awful day. I had a case of “morning brain” that lasted all day long. I’m talking about brain fog so dense, I couldn’t see my way through the simplest mental challenge. It didn’t help that yesterday held a demanding workload. It took me three times longer than usual to get through my tasks. It was an uphill battle, and I finally surrendered around 4:30, thinking I’d get an early start in the morning.
But I woke up with a massive headache, so I quietly made my way to the cottage, hoping meditation, solitude, and coffee might help. Two hours later I returned to the house with the startling realization that the headache was the result of not breathing!
Through journaling and a willingness to look at the truth, I saw clearly just how stressed I’ve been lately, not just the last couple of months, but all the way back to late last summer when Britain first talked to an Air Force recruiter. Since then, life has been a series of well-meaning assurances, like “we’ll know something for sure next week.” I remember deciding to wait to send Christmas cards until we knew something for sure. They never got sent.
Then the uncertainties really started piling up. What will happen to the Ford Institute for Transformational Training now that Debbie Ford is no longer with us? Today was Dannie’s Radiation Treatment #16. Will he have a bad reaction today? Tomorrow Britain is supposed to go to Beckley for the Army physical exam. Will he be signing papers before the weekend?
It’s no wonder I’ve been holding my breath! What’s gonna happen? What’s next? When will I know something for sure? I’ve been waiting for months!
This morning I decided it was time to stop waiting and start breathing. I removed every single non-essential activity from my calendar and spent the day deeply breathing my way through a series of spontaneous activities. I went for a ride in the convertible, singing along with Jimmy Buffett. I grilled steaks and invited my family to an impromptu picnic lunch on the back deck. I watched a training video and then tried my hand at clipping the dog, followed by a bath, where we both got soaking wet.
Yes, I know it was a “work day,” and as soon as I finish writing this, I’m going to carefully schedule my priorities for tomorrow. No missed deadlines. No one will suffer because I found some BREATHING SPACE. I knew those words were on my Vision Map for a reason!
And just so you know … headache’s gone, brain is clear, and I’ve decided to make some permanent changes to my Things To Do List.
#1 – BREATHE!
Just a little piece of my 2005 Vision Map. I’m still working on it!
Coach Barbie Dallmann 
Barbie! I FULLY support you breathing, and I’m glad you’re making time to make your breathing more enjoyable! You add breath and life to many! Thank you:)
Jacqui and I both suffer from the “too busy to breathe” syndrome – result, with a lingering bug my lung capacity was down to 1/3. I know I sit too many hours every day working at the computer, since summer was too hot to garden. I started to make myself take time out to consciously breathe deeply walking along the beach. or even standing on the veranda admiring the flowers. It works.
Hope the news is all good for your “boys.”
Thanks, Jean. From all the feedback I’ve received, it seems I’m not the only one who has felt this way. And to think I was feeling so alone. Obviously I’m in VERY good company. Happy Autumn!
Barbie, your vulnerability strengthens so many of us. Kudos for stopping to figure all of this out AND for paying attention to your instincts to get yourself back to center. Love the images of rockin’ out with Buffet in the convertible, surprising Dannie and Britain with the picnic lunch and wrestling with the dog!
Thanks, Linda. And the feedback I receive makes me stronger. It’s a nice cycle!
Yes, Barbie, your vulnerability is a great reminder for all of us to take time to “Breathe” life into every cell of our body. And I am thrilled that you looked at that Vision Map and followed your heart, not your head. Happy you are feeling better and listening to divine wisdom. Love your shares; sending blessings to you and your family.
Thanks for the acknowledgement and for putting it all into a new perspective. Divine Wisdom is always there, just like our breath. We just have to remember to partake!
Oh my dear friend, we are living kindred lives! BREATHE! What an idea! Thank you so much! I know I’ve been “waiting for the other shoe to drop” but had no idea I was holding my breath in anticipation!
Barbie; I’ve floundering since Monday…attemping to get some direction in my thoughts; actions and emotions. Reading your post reminded me; “stop…take a deep breath” prior to moving on. I’ve had to take several deep breaths; however, finally I have some stability and can move on with what I wanted to accomplish this week. Thank you for sharing this important “life lesson”.
Very nice!!!!! Breathing, relaxing, flowing!!!!