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The Art of Being Me

June 14, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Here I am during my teenage years … I really thought I had life all figured out. The pieces seemed to fit together so very nicely back then:

Soul 4

This is me in my late 20’s, married to a great guy, starting a business, things were really coming together. There had been some bumps in the road, but I was pretty sure I finally had it all figured out.

soul 11

Here I am in my roles as wife, mother, business owner, and spiritual seeker. Life was feeling settled, like everything has fallen into place.

soul 7

During our son’s teen years, I felt so scattered! I was so confused, looking for answers in the four corners of the world. Maybe from the outside things looked ordered. Inside, I was definitely searching!

soul 10

When mid-life hit, it all fell apart! I was disconnected, uncertain, and lost. Not only had I lost the answers, I was losing my grip on the questions.

soul 5

Here I am as I began to look inward for the answers, and even though it seemed like there was a lot missing, I started to feel my inner world coming together for the first time.

soul 9

This is me during the Coach Training Program. Pieces I had never really gotten to know were beginning to line up. I was asking some good questions and starting to see new possibilities.

Soul 3

This is me starting my day in prayer and meditation at the cottage, feeling whole and connected to the universe.

Soul 13

And here I am on a typical day: connected, scattered, clueless, and yet certain. Certain that I can rearrange the pieces without losing myself. Certain that there is still so much to learn. And certain, finally, that I will NEVER have it all figured out. And that’s okay.

soul 6

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Using a Shadow

June 8, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Spring Garden Painting

Collaborative effort with Jean G. Farmer
(Acrylic on Canvas)

Three weeks ago I pre-registered for a 5K race being held on June 29. I quit running last year after I hurt my foot, and my attempts to get back into it haven’t amounted to much. I would run maybe once a week and then justify reasons to do other things. Gradually I lost my ability to run any significant distance.

Finally, I found myself disgusted at my own lame excuses and decided it was time for action. Signing up for the race and paying the entry fee was my way of making a commitment to a training program. It’s a great example of using one of my known shadows to actually support me in doing what I want to do. Let me tell you how that works.

One of my shadows is “wasteful.” I really HATE the idea of wasting anything, but time and money are at the top of the list. There are good sides and bad sides to this shadow. On a good day, I’m an efficient multi-tasker, happily finding bargains, turning leftovers into creative meals, and washing my Ziploc bags.

On the bad days, I won’t allow myself to relax because it would be a waste of time. I work too hard and pinch every penny, withholding affordable pleasures because my shadow tells me they are a waste of money. I become joyless as I plod through the hours with frugal efficiency.

Working with this shadow taught me to love and accept my wasteful self. I now know how to enjoy wasting hours doing nothing. The other day I actually threw away half a bottle of shampoo because I really hated the way it felt in my hair. There was a time my shadow would have kept me from such a wasteful extravagance.

My new freedom to choose also includes the choice to USE the shadow to support myself in a commitment, like signing up for the race. I knew once I sent in my money, there would be a part of me longing to get my money’s worth. I know that barring a major illness or injury, there’s no way I’ll pay for a race and then not attend. So I’ve been using that shadow to keep me on track with my training schedule. All I have to do is think about the money I would be wasting if I weren’t ready for the race, and voilà! I will accept no excuses. I simply plug in my iPod with its “Couch to 5K” podcast and hit the road. Haven’t missed a session yet.

I like that I can trust that shadow to keep me on track. I like that part of me that doesn’t want to waste the money. It’s probably the only thing strong enough to get me to run, rain or shine! It’s a powerful force, and I’m glad it’s finally working FOR me.

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Who’s keeping track of whom?

May 23, 2013 by CoachBarbie

"By the River" - Acrylic on canvas by Barbie Dallmann

“By the River” – Acrylic on canvas by Barbie Dallmann

I love taking my son’s dog with me in the mornings when I walk or run. She’s such a great companion, and I confess, I do love multitasking. It’s such a high when I’m getting a three-for-one bargain: exercising, walking the dog, and listening to a book on my iPod.

This morning, as I noticed Lucy wandering into a side yard, I yelled over my shoulder, “Hey! Lucy! It’s your job to keep of track of me … not the other way around!” As she quickly caught up, I found myself smiling, remembering how I used to say that same thing to Britain when he was a toddler. Wherever we went, I would always remind him: “It’s your job to keep track of me. So, pay attention, and try to keep up!” What a great memory!

The truth, of course, is that I always had an eye out for him, just like I’m always aware of what Lucy’s up to.

I wonder if it’s that way with the Divine. I can just hear God saying, “It’s your job to keep track of me!” And off I go, thinking I’m all independent and in charge of every last detail. My truth, though, is that there has always been a bigger picture, one I’ll never be able to totally comprehend. And those times when I’ve strayed off course, there were whispers urging me to “pay attention!” Sometimes, too, my resistance causes me to run in the opposite direction. I’m grateful that even during those times when I think I’ve lost track of the Divine, she never loses track of me.

I guess this morning’s outing was actually a FOUR-for one: exercise, dog walking, iPod, and a bit of spiritual insight. Now I really am feeling a powerful urge to smile!

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Being a Superhero

May 17, 2013 by CoachBarbie

Ironman on couch

Ironman 3

I went to see Ironman 3 with my son on Mother’s Day. The last three words of the movie are still bouncing around in my head. (If you don’t want to know what they are, then stop reading now.)

One of the reasons I’m awestruck is that they are the same three words that ended the first movie, but the meaning this time is very different. At the end of the first movie, Tony Stark confessed to the world, “I am Ironman.” At the end of #3, he declared, “I am Ironman.”

What’s the difference? The first time around, he was admitting that he was the one performing all those superhero deeds. It was all about what he was doing.

By the end of the third movie, however, I saw the transformational shift in Tony Stark. It’s the burden I bear: I see everything, including comic book heroes through the lens of an integrative life coach.

What I saw at the end of movie #3 was Tony Stark embracing the qualities of Ironman. He declared ownership of those qualities, no matter what he was doing. The words were so powerful, they touched my heart, and ignited the soul-searching question, “Who am I?”

After days of contemplation, I realized “Coach Barbie” is not what I do, it is who I am. It is who I have always been, since long before I became a certified coach. From as early as grade school, I have memories of listening to people and offering multiple perspectives and possible solutions to problems. I have always encouraged others to be better, to dream bigger, to embrace life fully. I am an optimist, and I believe in people’s ability to be happy if they so choose.

I am humbled by this realization. I feel both peaceful and empowered, knowing in my heart that no matter what path I walk, the imprint of my soul will appear on everything I do. That’s really what being a superhero is all about … claiming the spark of the Divine and answering the call of the soul.

I am Coach Barbie … who are you?

Book cover

This book was authored by my own life coach, Aila Accad. I was privileged to read it as it was being written, and it has so inspired me! It goes on sale in bookstores June 24. Click on the image above and “Like” her Facebook Page. Also, be sure to add this title to your “Must Read” list this summer.

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