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Posts Tagged ‘transformation’

The Reunion, Part 2

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on May 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Why had I decided to go to my 40th high school reunion? To fulfill a homework assignment?

In the wee hours of the morning, I found myself second guessing my decision and looking for ways out. But during the daylight hours, I sensed my inner wisdom was right. And based on what I have regularly told my coaching clients, I was confident there would be a gift waiting for me if I only pushed through my self-doubt and fear.

I had been listening to Byron Katie lately and decided this would be an excellent application for, “The Work.” How I love Katie’s four powerful questions! So, here’s what happened. I focused intently on who I was in high school. Awkward. Misfit. Unsure. Afraid. Uncomfortable. Vulnerable. And then I asked myself the questions.

Question #1: Is it true? Answer: Well, sure. I was there. I should know! I remember very clearly being all those things.

Question #2: Can you know with certainty that it is true? Answer: With certainty? Hmmmm. I felt awkward. I clearly remember that part. But was I really awkward? Would a reasonable, objective observer find me awkward? When you put it that way, maybe . . . just maybe . . . it might not be completely true after all. With that admission, I felt my thinking begin to shift. I was ready for the next question.

Question #3: How do you feel when you think those thoughts? Answer: Well, that’s easy. I feel like crap! Next question!

Question #4: Who would you be without those thoughts? Answer: Oh, my! It’s hard to say. I’ve had those thoughts for 40+ years. Who would I be without all that judgment, condemnation, and self-pity? I suppose without thoughts of “awkward misfit,” I might be free to just be myself, my own unique brand of me. No shame. No apologies. Who else could I be, anyway?

I allowed the shift to percolate, and within a few days, I found myself wanting to know more about what a reasonable, objective observer might notice about who I had been at 17. That’s when an idea struck with such power, I couldn’t do anything else until I acted on it. I needed to read my diary. But not just read it. I would become that reasonable, objective observer. I would pretend I was reading a book written by someone else. I would approach the book with curiosity, setting aside everything I thought I knew about this young woman. And I would let her talk to me.

Diary
Okay, Barbara Schmitt . . . tell me about your life. I sat down with my diary and did not get up again until I had read every single entry from the first day of my senior year in high school until the day I graduated. (To be continued . . . .)

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How do you “do money”?

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2011| 2 Comments »

I ran across a quote this morning: “How We Do Money Is How We Do Our Lives,” Maria Nemeth, PhD., author of  The Energy of Money.

It made me stop and think, Just how DO I “do money”?

When it comes to money, I’ve always been careful and cautious. I don’t like to take risks with money. I plan for the unexpected by keeping a “rainy day” fund. I am responsible with money. I always reconcile my checkbook, pay my bills on time, and meticulously track my income and expenses. I use money to get all of what I need, some of what I want, and a taste of frivolity every now and then. I feel like I am in control of my money. And yet, I worry that somehow something unforeseen will happen, and I will end up regretting some of my conservative choices.

And, yes, that also describes how I do life: careful, cautious, not taking many risks, in control, and yet sometimes worrying that I’m missing out.

I wonder what it would take for me to loosen up a bit.  Certainly awareness and intention are key ingredients. What about a new budget line item: Frivolity.  I wonder what it would be like to regularly and intentionally use some of my money for things that “don’t make sense.” I wonder how that would show up in my life.

What about you? Are you willing to take a look at how you “do money”? If so, write down your patterns with money, or ask someone close to you how they see you “doing money.” Notice the parallels between “money” and “life.” Notice if there’s something you’d like to experiment with, something you’d like to change.

And then set an intention and share that intention with at least one other person who’s willing to ask you how it’s going.

If you don’t have all the money and all the life you want, make a new choice today.

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Getting Inspired

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on September 23, 2010| 2 Comments »

Creating Life

Life is About Creating Yourself

When I started blogging, I promised myself that it wouldn’t end up being another “have to” on my list of chores. I would only blog when I felt “inspired to do so.”
But I haven’t been inspired lately.
And then this morning in the shower, there it was! Inspiration! Pouring in  faster than I could register it all. I was getting ideas for writing, workshops, marketing, exercise routines, home decorating, and creative cooking! I was only in there for ten minutes. What happened?
Could it have something to do with the fact that this morning, I stepped out of my routine? It wasn’t a leap, mind you. I just rearranged things a little. I had breakfast before meditating. I exercised and then prayed. There were just a few small, mindful changes that resulted from an exploration of the role of structure in my life.
So many people resist structure. It’s a common trait among my life coaching clients: many don’t want to commit to goals and deadlines. Many don’t want to embrace discipline and accountability. And yet, without structures, important things are often postponed until the last possible moment, or worse, they don’t get done at all. I gladly embrace structure in my life as an incredibly useful tool that helps me get where I want to go, sort of like a bridge, reliably supporting me as I move from an outdated way of being over to a more productive one.
There are, however, restrictive structures, which are like jail cells. They keep us stuck in our thoughts and routines and quite often dull our creativity. Upon self-reflection, I realized that I had become like a robot in the mornings, doing exactly the same things in exactly the same order, morning after morning. I realized today that I had lost my sense of self in the process. My unchanging routine had caused a certain dullness to descend upon me. I’ve been on autopilot, simply following pre-determined steps, not even taking time to consider that I might prefer tea to coffee some mornings.
And so, at 5:30 this morning, I made a conscious decision to shake things up a bit, and look what happened! I’m inspired!
Over the next week, I plan to take a closer look at the structures, routines, and rules that govern my day-to-day life. I guarantee I’ll be making some changes. The real challenge for me is to not allow the changes to become new jail cells. And the only way to do that is to commit to living consciously as a full-time participant in my own life.
Now the coach in me is saying: “What structure can you put in place to make sure you remember that commitment?” (And you thought being a Life Coach was easy!)

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Pathway to Peace

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , on August 20, 2010| 5 Comments »

Cottage Path

Pathway to Peace

Going to the cottage has become part of my morning ritual. My soul has come to rely on it in much the same way as my body revels in morning coffee. Thus, sitting in my cottage rocking chair while watching the sun rise and sipping a hot cup of coffee has become this summer’s version of heaven on earth.

This morning it occurred to me that a mere two years ago the cottage didn’t exist. In fact, two years ago, the only thing that did exist was the land and my growing desire for “a bench or something” where I could sit outdoors and meditate.

As I allowed my desire to grow, the “bench” grew first into a glider, then into a gazebo, then into a “shed,” and finally into a fully-insulated, all-weather structure with a sleeping loft and its own electrical service. Oh, and let’s not forget the 100-yard path of stepping stones that keep my feet dry as I pick my way through the woods on dew-soaked mornings. Wow! That’s some meditation bench!

The manifestation of this cottage feels like a miracle on many levels. It’s something I dreamed up, planned, and paid for myself. It was built by me, my family, and friends. I hired no one to help. It’s truly a labor of love. On an outward level, I learned to use power tools, pound nails, install siding and decking, shingle a roof, hang drywall, and much more. On an inner level I learned how to admit my shortcomings, ask for help, allow others to be in charge, and accept without guilt the amazing outpouring of love from so many of my friends and family.

The lessons I learned along the way were both painful at times and funny at others; they were usually at least somewhat interesting. For example, Lesson #12: It takes 3 times longer to remove the wrong caulking than it does to put it up in the first place. (It took a while for that one to seem funny.)

The manifestation of my cottage from desire to reality has been a spiritual journey for me. I mention it now because it will no doubt appear in or be the topic of future blogs. I mention it, too, so you’ll know where I am as the sun’s coming up.

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