Posts Tagged ‘change’

New Beginnings Painting

“New Beginnings” – Acrylic painting to be auctioned at the Charleston Art Walk April 17 to raise funds for the WV Children’s Advocacy Network

Last year at this time I was insistently resisting the label “artist” (See: I’m not THAT!). This year when I received the “Call to Artists” email, asking for donations of art to be auctioned at a fundraiser for a West Virginia non-profit, I excitedly began thinking about making a contribution. Yesterday I awoke at 4 a.m. having just finished the painting in my dreams.

I picked my way through the dark woods to the cottage and happily assembled my supplies, all the while trying to recall the details of the dream painting. I sketched it out quickly on the back of a things-to-do list, made a few notes, and then started painting. This morning I declared it finished because it brought a smile to my face.

Last year’s agony of creation is gone; today I was so absorbed in the joy of painting, I completely forgot to drink my coffee! Now, that’s seriously absorbed!

In this moment, I’m feeling happy and proud of myself. This past year, I’ve willingly worked through a lot of painful memories and purposefully healed those wounds. I’ve butted up against some major barriers, including “I don’t know what I’m doing!” and “I’m not good enough.” Patience, kindness and self-compassion have gradually reduced the size of the barriers. Although, still big enough to be recognizable, they have gradually become small enough to step over. Finally I find myself in a valley of contentment with feelings of satisfaction, freedom, delight, and whimsy. There is a sacred flow that happens now when I paint. It has become a time of communion with my higher self–a peaceful meditation. Lost in time and space, I become childlike, curious and delighted with the colors and shapes. It isn’t about getting certain results, it’s just about the fun of dabbling.

I long to more regularly feel that sense of freedom that comes from releasing attachment to outcome. I wonder what it would be like to approach every task in my life with playful curiosity and delight. When I think about where I was artistically just five years ago (couldn’t even draw a stick man) to where I am today, it makes me believe anything is possible. Yes, it does require a conscious desire to create something new as well as focused effort, but if it results in more connection, freedom, and joy, then count me in!

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These are the musings of the Earth-Ship, Coach Barbie. Her first-year mission: to explore strange new perspectives; to seek out new possibilities and new ideas; to boldly go where she has never gone before … physically, mentally, spiritually.

And so begins my first experience with blogging. [Some dramatic theme music here would be nice.] Am I going boldly? Probably not by Star Trek standards, but certainly by mine.

My last year has been a series of changes and firsts. Blogging is yet another first on the motley mental list that’s been begging for months now to be transferred to a lined legal pad. Not making a list is a first in and of itself. [A special thanks to my Mastermind Co-Creator Deb Eibner for pointing that out to me!]

I love lists. I have lists for everything:  for things to do today, things to do tomorrow, things to do next week, next month, next year; groceries to buy; books to read; places to visit; web sites to explore; people to invite to dinner. I even have a list–91 pages long–of every time I’ve worked out on my treadmill since May 16, 1998. Who would I be without my lists?

As a coach, I am constantly challenging my clients to try on new ways of thinking as well as new ways of being. I ask them to challenge their self-limiting beliefs and create for real the life they say they want. And with every challenge I offer to another, in my quiet, reflective time, I offer it to myself as well. How can I effectively ask others to step outside their comfortable ruts unless I know firsthand what it’s like to be ” listless”? Or at least to be one list short of a tome?

Over the next several weeks and months, I’ll be writing about my journey into a life of flow. It’s what I’ve said I want. It’s an important element of my vision for a joyful, fulfilling life. But flow requires being in the moment, being flexible, and being willing to set aside a list when using it feels like paddling upstream through rapids. I want to keep what works and gently allow the rest to fall away, without regret, resentment, or judgment.

I invite you to take this journey with me. Explore what it’s like for you to go places you’ve never been before, to think new thoughts, and to eventually become a whole new version of yourself. Feel free to post comments here, or contact me directly at Barbie@CoachBarbie.com … Oh, and be sure to  join my newsletter LIST!   😉

(You can sign up at the bottom of the home page at www.CoachBarbie.com)

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